Then they all left.

Where has time gone? The months passed in a flash. No time for typing. No time for reading or thinking. Only time to enjoying the last few months with the youngest of my babies – technically it was the summer so I was enjoying time with all three – by enjoying I mean saving what is left of my hearing from their incessant whining and bitching and arguing….BREATHE!!!

However littlest is now in school with the other two. That’s one drop off, one pick up, three lunches, one free mama. A friend sent me The Holderness Family “In the Tub” back to school celebration video, I don’t know about everyone else but it’s a pretty accurate portrayal of my life just now.

I’m not 100% sure that I’m truly celebrating though. I quite enjoyed the time I had with the little lady. Drawing, standing on Lego and spending endless hours looking for the piece of a puzzle that seems to be missing. Then there is shopping with a 3ft monster that stops every 20 seconds to point out every product that has a 50%+ sugar content and letting me know she must consume said products at that very moment or this shopping trip could go really bad. I also enjoyed walking up to the check out in Trader Joes and hearing a little voice scream that we did not find the toy octopus hidden in the store therefor rendering us unable to receive the lollipop from the person behind the register, then walking back around the whole store looking the damn stuffed toy. Yes, I will miss all of that.

The first day of real freedom came the second day of school. The actual first day is really just a pretend day where you show up for a photo and a chat. Day two: I drop off, I wave, throw some kisses then I was out of there. In the space of two hours I had managed to have a cuppa with friends, put petrol in the car, shop(in two different shops) and put all the shopping away. Then I threw some laundry in the machine and made another cuppa. Now I’m no Kitsune (is that the right magical being? the one that bends time!) From drop off at 8 to 10 that’s only two hours. How is it possible I completed all of these tasks so quickly? There was only one thing to be done or I would surly die of boredom or have to have another child and this shop is closed…I took to HBOnow, Yip after being left happily in the dark for so many years saying I would just never ever be a part of the madness, I gave in. I just let myself go, with my fresh made cuppa tea and a handful of those sugar snacks that I can’t eat around the kids, I watched the first episode of Game of Thrones. UGH, I should never have given in. Now, just a few weeks into school  I’m so close to finishing the 3rd season. My brain has even started working in a way that I reply to text messages like I am actually in the show. Here’s an example

B: I’m looking forward to meeting you. See you tonight.

Me: As am I, do enjoy the rest of this day. (Say this with a slightly royal accent, cause that’s what’s in my head)

Now yes, it was only short but normally I’d send a little emoji and a “catch ya later” but no GoT has twisted my grey matter.

I’d also like to say that the text was from my husband’s friend’s wife that I’d never met before, it was not some sordid Tinder hook up.

So what I’m wondering is: Does this happen to everyone? Am I so bored with my new found freedom that the only conceivable thing I can think of to do is to watch 7 seasons of Game of Thrones as if it were going to suddenly become unavailable on any viewing platform? and here’s the big and real question…Am I procrastinating?

I know it’s my time now, time to find my feet, time to rediscover the person I was or am. Time which really disappeared 10 years ago along with ability to naturally produce Elastin and collagen. Friends say to me”It’s been a long tough year take a few weeks or months whatever you need just to relax and enjoy, really think about life and where it is headed” Nothing wrong with taking time to reflect, right? But does my real reflection come while watching people being beheaded and hoping that one day I may have a dragon too. I’m thinking, nope! But I’m headed back to that next episode………..

 

 

 

 

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Empty Nest

I’m not going to say I want the last kid out of the house and into school. In fact when that moment comes I will be utterly heart broken. Little Silver is a breath of fresh air but she really wants more than I can give her now. I feel her need to be out playing more and having lots of little people around to engage in her madness. I can only be partly mad with a side of “oh shit, I gotta get dinner ready” not that fun a playmate when I disappears to do boring adult things. Last week I put her name on the entry list for school…eeeek. Am I ready to receive the mountains of paperwork and then hit her up with a multitude of injections the kids around here must have to walk through the school gates and into their allocated class.

The injections alone are costly but the tears that they cause will be the real heart breaker. This girl really knows how to make my heart to bleed. She works all the angles, has the face of a baby koala that makes you want to snuggle her in tight and protect her from the world but she’ll bite your face off at the same time.

Luckily School start time is still six months away so I have time to prepare for this. Emotionally for me, I do wonder…Will I get empty nest syndrome? Having spent the past +nine years with a child holding my hand everyday will I find it hard to let go of the last one? Will I automatically need to be impregnated so that I have faith in the fact that I am actually needed by someone all day long(probably not!) Or, and this is a big or, will I enjoy my time and figure out my life. I’ll be safe in the knowledge that all three kids are in a great school, playing with good people and learning from lovely teachers. Why should I worry? I know she will be totally fine going to school, she’s been walking to this school pretty much everyday for two years now. Most of her friends are a year older and go to class there, for her it feels good and she just can’t wait.

For me it’s a real toss up and it could swing either way. The one thing that I have been pretty good at in life so far is mothering. I was once told by an old flatmate (when I found out I was pregnant with #1) that I had the mothering skills of a firing squad…bloody proved him wrong! Turned out I learned from the best and deep down I had it in me all along. As most people do, it’s called human nature an instinct to keep your children thriving. The ability to adjust your sense of self and let them learn real values. How to trust people, who to trust, how to listen, when to listen and having respect for everyone and everything around you. I think the one big thing I want to give the little’s is how to respect and love themselves, at the same time realising that they are not more important than anyone else and no one else is more important than them. So many people live in fear of pissing off someone they deem to be more powerful than them, whether it be a bully at school or a boss later in life. Sometimes they throw their respect and love the wrong way to someone who really couldn’t give a crap about them. Respect is a two way street and should not be based on fear.

I think I’ll start counting the weeks so I know how much time I have left with my baby at home teaching her all the things I think she needs to make it through. I know this time shall slip away so quickly, I’ll blink and August will be here with another lunch bag to fill. However when I look into her eyes and she talks excitedly about going to school. What else can I do but smile and let her go however much it tears my heart.

 

 

Failed…Sorry!

 

I’ve failed to write anything for such a long time now.

The reason…well……

My lovely husband got me a new computer for my birthday. It worked great. I started this blog, LaLaLa. Everything was seemingly normal in LadyQuist Land. However, the computer then asked me if I wanted to update to Windows 10. “Sure thing” I thought, who doesn’t want to be updated to the latest version of, well, anything? I can almost hear the wise technologically advanced human beings laughing at me. Now the computer in question will not log on to the damn internet. It’s slower then a commodore 64 and I have put it on time out. At present I am using my old computer which has been gathering dust in a cupboard. I do still fear the heat that it generates may cause finger tip burns. But I will persevere. Maybe having no finger prints will help when I become a criminal mastermind! A completely organic criminal mastermind, can’t be messing up because of crazy gadgets though. So more Cat woman than Lady Bond.

What’s been happening around here? My Mum came to visit for six weeks. Total delight having her here. She is such a lovely granny. Now that she has gone, Phoenix has been asking for her to either move here or for him to move into her house. I have noticed that many families around here have a granny annex in their garden. I think that when we come to buying a house we need to take this into consideration. It’ll probably be more of a shed in the garden then a lovely two bed apartment nestled between the fruit trees but I’m sure she won’t mind! Right?

We had our first American Halloween. People go all out. Streets get closed down and all the houses have amazing decorations. Huge houses that you can normally only see the tops of from outside their huge security fences open up and welcome all children and adults alike. Some people hire DJ’s to blast out tunes while the kids are going house to house collecting as many sweets as they possibly can fit into their bags.

Down the road there is a place called Boney Island. During the year it is just a normal house that a guy called Rick Polizzi owns. He was the animation producer on The Simpsons so already getting the thumbs up from me. The story goes that when his two daughters were young he couldn’t find anything that he thought was suitable for them. So he decided to create his own very special Halloween house. Now his kids are grown and he still keeps it going. We took a stroll down there one spooky school evening, not really knowing what to expect. I mean, it is just someone’s garden right! Well there is a four floor tree house, a water and light show to amaze all the young ones. Talking spiders that fall down to you from trees, singing plants, flying skeletons and candles that go out by the power of a young mind. Every inch of the garden is well thought out with the wicked and wonderful. It really was a Halloween dream come true. Apparently it gets 25,000 visitors every year now. Which is totally crazy. His wife must be a super tolerant lady. I mean could you imagine 25,000 people walking through your garden every October. To my disappointment the night after we went Dave Grohl was there. Totally for the best though as if I were there on the same day as him, I probably would have caused Jacob a fair bit of embarrassment.

Leaving the past behind and moving to the present…

This week the kids are off school. It’s Thanksgiving week. Having never had a Thanksgiving we don’t really know the protocol. Is everything closed? Is there a parade? Should we just be sitting in the house eating and giving thanks?

Luckily, one of the mums from Phoenix’s Kindergarten has come to the rescue and invited us to her family house in the hills. I guess this is what we will be giving thanks for. The open hearted people of L.A. The folks that are never too busy for a chat and the fact we have been here for less than a year and have met some people that we can call friends.

Maybe I can report back how this went if my computer doesn’t blow up!

De-loused

I’ve basically been neglecting this blog and any social networking for the past five weeks – my mum has been visiting. She is such a lovely lady and always comes to my rescue when Jacob is on tour. This time though, it was a five week visit. No quick train ride down to London from Fife anymore. Nope, a long 11 hours on a plane is needed. Mum, doesn’t like flying. So I appreciate that she has had to man up and get her ass on a plane just for me to get a hair cut and join a Pilates class…Thanks mum!

So, since I last picked up the laptop there has been an epidemic at school. One that, judging by the reaction of parents – it was as bad as Ebola outbreak. The dreaded infestation of lice.

One morning at drop off, I walked up to a group of mums looking highly freaked out.

“Everything okay?” I said. I got these replies….

“There’s lice in the class”

“Seven Children”

“Oh, no. What will we do?”

Being a sarcastic arse, I burst out laughing and said “oh, yeah, eeeek, nits. Whatever will we do. Call the Doctor!”

So I really thought their reactions were a joke. Turns out, it was not a joke and in fact they are crazy mofos about a wee scabby nit. I heard one mother shrieking  “oh, my gosh. It’s so unsanitary” While another spoke of their first ‘traumatizing’ experience with lice when their child was younger.

One lovely mum, removed anything and everything made of material from the class room to boil wash it. But there was a long stare and conversation about the carpet. What was to be done about it?

Nits to me, is a normal childhood problem. They are more of an annoyance than anything. If you treat them naturally, it takes forever and who wants to go around their whole family with that little nit comb hearing the screams of pain as you scrape it across each scalp in turn. But if you take the chemical route, well, you’re putting chemicals on your kid.

Some inventive people have found a great way to make some cash out of these freaked out parents. Salons with names like ‘The Magic Nit Pick’ and ‘Hairwizards’ are dotted around. Where people drive to with the whole family and pay $100 per person to get De-Loused. De-Loused at the Combatorium if you will. Yeah, yeah, I know I added a B for all those Mars Volta fans. Nearly bald fathers, sitting in chairs while the nit nurse is hysterically laughing, riding that gravy train.

I’m not really sure what to think of peoples’ reaction to these nasty nits. Am I too relaxed about it? Are they too uptight? Will I feel differently when I have to deal with them? Summer has the longest hair so I’m sure one day they will catch on. Lets hope I’m still that sarcastic cow when it does happen or that’ll be $500 out the window for all us Quists.

It’s all about the kids.

After spending way too many years in London, I felt like I lost my identity. A lot of this also corresponded with becoming a mother and stopping that crazy thing called work, because before that I really did feel like I knew who I was. I was a ballsy bass playing grunge rock gal. I wore clothes too tight, drank like a fish and swore like a fishwife (sorry mum!). This move to another city is making me remember what it was like when I first moved to London – that excitement – but this time I get to share it with four other people, all of whom are having their own individual reaction to the change… well, not Silver really – she so little and is pretty much just happy as long as I am nearby.

Summer starting at the local school was probably really hard for her but she a tough nut to crack. She is really friendly and always wants to please everyone so I was not too worried about her. There was always going to be an adjustment period. She stands out a little with her London accent. The other kids have been together since kindergarden so they have pretty tight friendships going on.

Summer mentioned once that she had no one to play with during break but what seven year old kid doesn’t say that every so often. We had a little chat about it and now she is bouncing to school, not needing those extra hugs in the morning…I miss those hugs!

The school itself is really really good. She is back to getting weekly homework, which her London school stopped for some reason in favour of termly homework. Her teacher is beautifully scatty, super easy going but gets the work done. What stands out the most though is the after school clubs. There seem to be hundreds of them. My experience of after school clubs is that you sign up for anything you can and they allocate you a place on one…the one the school choose for your child. Here things are a little different. There’s Drama, Glee, Dance, Art, Knitting, film making, lego robotics, woodwork…the list goes on. It is so interesting, the schools are used as a community. They don’t lock down at the end of the school day, they open up. There is a tuck shop with a massive queue all the time. A running track with kids counting laps for others. A stage where some make up dance routines. Every inch of the campus is covered with kids having fun.Their parents are able to be there, sitting in the sun enjoying a popsicle.

The acting, singing, theater after school enrichment is run by a wonderful but crazy lady. I never really knew what to think of her until Saturday past. Summer and I went along to a kids production of ‘Wicked’ in the school auditorium. The whole thing was so elaborate. The costumes, the lighting, the set. So much effort was put into this. It was more like a theater production in the East End rather than a simple school play.

The drama teacher sat in front of the stage the whole time, she knew the performance back to front. Helping anyone that got a little stuck for words. You could tell the kids doated on her and that she really cared. She had so obviously been up all night going over things in her head – and yet her energy was through the roof!

What struck me the most though was that all the children were in charge. Even the back stage. The ones not in the play were doing makeup and wardrobe. Some choose to do lighting so had a spotlight that was theirs. They all had little ear pieces and mics to communicate to each other. They were trusted to do the adult jobs. They sell the tickets, they man the door, they smile and help.

A few Americans have said to me “why have you moved here from the UK? The UK has a much better school system” and that may be right. I am yet to find this out. It’ll take longer than a few months to really see if there’s a difference in class room education, but for community spirit and child involvement, it’s one up for America.