Having previously mentioned that I do not have a visa to work in the land of the free. I find myself in need of finding my meaning, my purpose, my function.
I feel like I have lived a thousand lives, a bit of a jack of all trades.
I’ve cleaned, served, managed. I’ve welded, sorted and fixed. I’ve studied, helped and posed but yet I can not seen to find my true north.
BC (Before Children) I thought that music was my thing. Playing my bass, feeling free and having fun with friends in a language reserved for those in that circle. But that has drifted since my monkeys decided to reap havoc on my life!
So what now? Where do I go from here?
From conversations with friends it seems that it is only a rare few that find their place early in life. Others (like me) wonder around between a rock and hard place seeking something that seems so right until it seems so wrong. How does one find their meaning? My lovely husband picked up a guitar when he was very young and bish bash bosh, thirty odd years later he’s still playing. My best friend studied hairdressing at 16 and to this day is happy chopping locks. How the hell did they do this?
I don’t come from a place that is all about living the dream. It was very much people taking the job that will bring in the cash. Working to live. So, I know this is a luxury problem! But given that I have an option, it would be silly of me to just find a job that makes me want to shove a hot screwdriver in my eye at the sound of the morning alarm.
Like many. I want a career that has it all. I want to be crazy creative but I want organisation. I want to work with people but also alone. I want to work with my computer but nothing to complicated. I want to see my children and be able to drop everything at a moments notice to be there for them.
My real career should be like an 80’s movie montage. Creative and sexy with an amazing(cheesy) sound track.
Having once been described as a floater – In a more loving way than saying I was the scabby backwash left in your drink. More in a way that, I’m kind of happy doing anything. I can float from one place to the next and find happiness. This is true, but I also get that feeling of flight. I always want a little more, or a little less. One thing is for sure I want it all now!
I know lots of people feel this way and I’m intrigued to find out how they found their passion, if indeed the ever have. Is it just a trial and error thing or is there a way of defining what you should be doing?
So what is my function?